I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
