how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize