i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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