This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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