hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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