Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
