All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize