is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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