My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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