tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
