I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
