im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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