so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
