He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
