listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
A+ Viking dick
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
