Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
