the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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