We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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