We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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