big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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