I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
