just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
