Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm jealous of your bromance
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
