Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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