hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
