His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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