Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
