You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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