maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize