we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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