If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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