i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My cat gives me a boner
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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