it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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