Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
