hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
you didnt know i had herpes?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
