I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Drake has all the answers
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
