he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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