Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
