I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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