my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
