Sober January is a disaster.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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