Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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