More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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