When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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