When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize