I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
