now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
