I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
