I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
