And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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