whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
