hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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