we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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