It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
