Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Porn is love you can see.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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