dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
