garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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