I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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