Operation Purity has been aborted
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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