I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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