Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize