you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
