Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
